You’ve Been Her Rock. Will She Know What to Do If You’re Gone?

You know that feeling when you’re on your way to the airport, bags in the trunk, itinerary in hand and suddenly you get that pit in your stomach?

"I forgot something."

It nags at you. You run through the list: passport, charger, wallet, tickets. Maybe you did remember it all. But that uneasy feeling lingers.

Now imagine your wife having that same feeling one day. Not because you forgot to do something, but because you never told her what you’d already done.

You’ve Been the Protector

Let’s give credit where it’s due: you’ve worked hard to build a life of security for your family.

You’ve saved. You’ve invested wisely. You’ve worked with attorneys, CPAs, financial advisors. You’ve crafted an estate plan, chosen guardians, set up the trust, and maybe even drafted detailed instructions for when you're gone.

All of it done with love. With the best intentions. With the purpose of protecting her.

But there’s one thing many men, good men like you, forget to do:

Bring their wives into the conversation.

The Unintended Consequence of Good Intentions

As a man, you step up. You handle things. You see your partners stretched thin managing kids, aging parents, careers, households and think, “The last thing they need is another burden.”

So, you take over. You manage the bills, the taxes, the investments, the estate plans. All with the best intentions.

And here’s the honest truth: even I’ve done it.

Though I’m a woman, and one who works in this field, I have a take-charge personality. I like to solve problems, take things off people’s plates, make life easier for those I love. I’ve done it with my kids, with aging parents, and yes, even in my own marriage.

But I’ve come to realize something: in our effort to protect, we sometimes unintentionally disempower.

We think we’re helping. But when we don’t slow down and bring others along, especially the people we care about the most, we leave them in the dark.

And nowhere is this more damaging than in our finances. Because when that moment of crisis comes, whether it’s death, disability, or simply absence, clarity is everything.

And without it? Even the best-laid plans feel like a maze.

Protection Isn’t Just About Plans—It’s About Communication

You don’t have to turn her into a financial expert.

But she does need to know where things stand. She needs to know where the documents are kept. What accounts exist. Who the key contacts are. What the plan looks like, and why you made those decisions.

Because when you’re no longer there to explain it, clarity is one of the best gifts you can leave behind.

If You’ve Done Everything Else… Don’t Stop Short

This isn’t about blame. It’s about legacy.

You’ve already done 90% of the work. You’ve built the systems. You’ve planned with purpose.

Now it's time to take the final step: loop her in.

Sit down together. Show her the accounts, the documents, the plan. Let her ask questions. Make sure she knows who to call and where to look.

It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It just has to be done.

Give Her More Than Protection—Give Her Confidence

The day may come when she has to navigate life without you.

And when that happens, she shouldn't have to second-guess every decision, dig through filing cabinets, or make desperate phone calls searching for answers.

She should feel steady. Informed. Confident.

And that only happens if you open the door now.

Let her know what you’ve done. Show her what you've built. Invite her into the peace of mind you've worked so hard to create.

Because one day, she won’t just remember what you left her.

She’ll remember that you didn’t leave her in the dark.

Investment advisory services offered through Mutual Advisors, LLC DBA Wise Oak Wealth, a SEC registered investment adviser.